


Becoming A Family

by libellules



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Drug Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I just want Justin to be happy, Past Child Abuse, like I plan for 50/50 angst and fluff, mostly lots of Jensen family fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libellules/pseuds/libellules
Summary: Nobody ever said becoming a family would be an easy thing, but Justin Foley was no stranger to struggle. Follow the transition as Justin opens up about his addiction and his past as he finally gets the family he truly deserves.





	1. I'm So Sorry

It was strange, to say the least, getting used to having Justin around the house. The first few mornings, Clay would freeze in the kitchen doorway at the sight of Justin searching through the fridge so casually. It felt odd to see his shoes at the front door and a fourth place setting at the table. But as time went on Clay was getting more used to it. 

Justin had taken over the guest bedroom, hanging up basketball posters and scattering the carpet with his dirty laundry. Mr. Jensen had brought up the old stereo from the garage, the same stereo Clay had first heard the tapes on, and set it up for Justin. They slowly began to fill his closet and dresser drawers with new clothes and memorabilia. The blue varsity jacket lay draped over the desk chair, backpack resting beside it on the seat. Slowly, it was becoming his. 

Clay was learning an incredible amount about Justin. He learned that Justin would eat absolutely anything and a lot of it. He learned that the only thing Justin could cook was Cup-O-Noodles and that he needed a cup of black coffee to lure him out of bed each morning. He learned that Justin was actually pretty thoughtful too. After every meal, he helped clean up the table and always helped around the house, perhaps it was his gratitude taking over. Mostly, he learned that he didn’t hate Justin just as much as he once thought he had. 

At first the movie nights frustrated Clay. He had always been an only child and something about seeing his parents curled up in the couch with someone else pulled a nerve somewhere inside of him. After a few movie nights, the frustration wore off, or maybe it was because everyone gave in to Clay’s request to watch Star Wars. Justin had never seen it and, just as he had with Clay’s comics, began to completely geek out to it. It seemed to be the only topic the two could discuss without ending in some sort of argument. 

In truth, the two bickered at almost every chance they got. The TV remote was a major culprit behind their arguments, as well as the last pancake or really any food left on the table. They argued about what time they needed to leave for school in the morning, about the amount of hot water left in the shower each morning, and just about everything else under the sun. It made Matt chuckle to hear such brotherly bickering as the two walked down the stairs for school each morning. He had always wanted a second child but Lainie had wanted to focus on Clay and her career, up until this point at least. It warmed his heart to have another child in the house. 

Justin’s dynamics with Matt and Lainie weren’t yet very comfortable. He was often on edge in some form or another, something the social worker explained was very common when children from abusive homes were fostered or adopted. She told them how important it was for them to patiently build up his trust that they wouldn’t hurt him or kick him out if he did something wrong. Still, it was hard to see the anxiety in his eyes whenever he worried that he had accidently pushed them too far. It was difficult to take in a seventeen-year-old boy, but a boy with seventeen years of neglect and abuse was even more challenging. 

It was even harder for Justin to adjust the second time around because of how rough juvie had been for him. Though the beatings were never as bad as Seth’s had been, it was all the more difficult to endure them knowing that Bryce would only suffer for three months. Six months was a long time to spend behind bars for a teenager. He had spent his seventeenth birthday in a cell, granted the Jensens had come to visit him that day, but he remembered feeling more alone than he ever had before in his life. The day they told him he was finally free to go almost felt like a dream. 

As a kid, Justin had had nightmares all the time. Usually, they were about one of his mother’s boyfriends or thunderstorms, but they had stopped being so frequent around the beginning of high school. After getting released they returned with full force. It was awkward, waking up screaming and crying to see Mr. and Mrs. Jensen standing in his doorway. It left him mortified to know that it woke Clay up too, though the boy would never actually say anything to Justin about it. It was strange at first, but Mr. Jensen especially was really good at calming him down when it happened. He would sit against the headboard and put his arm around Justin’s shoulders and send him quiet soothes the way his own mother never had. Justin tried to hide the fear and the tears but he found it was easier to give in to the comfort and let himself be cared for. Maybe it was just the darkness of the night covering his shame somehow. 

The mornings after a really bad nightmare there was always a big breakfast waiting for them. After the combination of homelessness and juvie, Justin’s stomach screamed at the sight of any and all food. He had lost all muscle and most of his body fat and was reminded of this by all three of the Jensens, Zach, Tony, and even Alex almost daily. Fully aware but not amused by the teasing, Justin ate enough for everyone, particularly when Mr. Jensen was the one making breakfast. Following his weight loss, his clothes began to drag. Mrs. Jensen had taken him to get more clothes the first weekend after his release. He was told by almost every single one of his friends, always meant to tease him, that he was looking more like Standall every day. Justin didn’t even care, he loved that he was able to wear clothes that weren’t given to him by Bryce. 

One of the perks of not being homeless was that he was finally able to get a job. Even though the Jensens were more than happy to buy him whatever he needed, he was fed up of living on constant handouts. After applying and getting rejected at the first hint of his time in juvie, he finally gave in to his only acceptance and began working at the Crestmont with Clay. As it turned out, unsurprisingly, they managed to bicker even more at work than they did at home. But Justin never let it go too far because, in the end, he was grateful for the job and to Clay for advocating for Justin to his boss. He often felt he owed everything to Clay and the Jensens and didn’t want to risk it. 

And yet, while all he wanted was to stay with the Jensens, he still turned to heroin. He shot up his first day back and had successfully hidden it for about two weeks. Clay was suspicious at times but so far hadn’t mentioned anything so he probably didn’t realize Justin was shooting up again. Justin knew that if Clay truly believed Justin was doing heroin again that he’d be on an immediate detox. Much more terrifying than the detox and losing his vice, however, was the thought of Mr. and Mrs. Jensen realizing what a mistake they had made when taking Justin in. 

This thought became a reality the third weekend after the Jensens had offered to adopt Justin. The process wasn’t finalized and so Justin had been attempting to be extra sneaky. It didn’t quite work out. 

“Hey dinner’s almost ready and-.” Mr. Jensen’s face went blank, right hand still clutched around the doorknob and left on the door frame. His eyes flashed between Justin’s own and the needle in his hand. Justin hadn’t shot up when anyone was home for this very reason, but today it was really getting to him and only him and Mr. Jensen were home. Clearly, it was a mistake. “Justin.”

Just as he had done his whole life, Justin tried to run. The needle fell to the ground and he made it as far as the window before he felt Mr. Jensen’s arms pulling him inside. Forcefully, he spun Justin around to face him, hands still gripping the boy’s forearms tightly. On pure instinct, Justin shrunk in on himself and ducked his head, terrified and anxious. In a blink, Matt realized what was going through Justin’s mind and released his grip.

“Justin, it’s okay.” Nothing about any of this was okay, but looking at Justin’s trembling fingers he knew he needed to reassure him. “It’s okay, I won’t touch you, alright?” Holding his arms protectively across his chest, Justin nodded. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t… I just… it was never, I’m so sorry.” And then he was throwing up on Mr. Jensen’s shoes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make this a multichapter story all about Justin and the Jensen's because their dynamic is so interesting and there's so much angst/fluff potential with them. The Clay & Justin scenes are what really made season 2 for me and I just had to write something for them! Would you guys be interested in me continuing this fic? If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know!
> 
> Also this work is unbeta'd so if you see any mistakes or any parts don't make sense, please let me know and I'll correct them.


	2. An Angry Drug Dealer

“But you’re mad at me.”

“Justin, of course we’re mad at you.”

“We’re still adopting you, you just need to get clean right now.” Justin’s ears were taking in Mr. and Mrs. Jensen’s words but his eyes still glanced back and forth nervously about a thousand times during their conversation, fingers fidgeting all the while. 

“You still want me?”

“Of course we do.” The sincerity in her voice was enough to commit him to get clean. And he did, with Clay’s help again. He had to stay home from school for about a week as he barfed up his guts. It was harder this time with so many people checking up on him, but it was also kind of comforting. Either way, the loss of all of his electronics left Justin to read almost every single one of Clay’s comics, enthralled immediately. 

After dinner about a week later, Mr. and Mrs. Jensen called him into the kitchen to chat. Based on the stiffness in Mrs. Jensen’s shoulders, Justin could tell this was serious so he took a hesitant seat across from them. 

“Justin, we want to talk to you about something.” Her hands rested one on top of the other as if she was in a formal business meeting, meaning whatever she had to say wasn’t something Justin was going to be happy about. 

“Okay.” 

“This is something we’ve talked about with your social worker and we think it could really help you.” 

“We know that you’ve turned to drugs to deal with stress in the past and we would like to give you a new outlet so you don’t have to.” Mr. Jensen then proceeded to put a hand on top of his wife’s. “You’re going to start seeing a therapist.” 

“I-I don’t need to do that. I’m not crazy.” 

“We never said you were. We just know that you’ve been through a lot and it would be really good for you to have someone to talk to about all of it. We realize it might take you a while to open up to us, and you by no means ever even have to do that. But you need to talk to someone because you can’t keep all of that bottled up anymore. It’s not safe.” Justin had never seen an adult’s eyes looking at him as kindly as the two sets of eyes in the kitchen were at that moment. It sent a chill through his body, to have not one but two adults who actually seemed to care what was going on in his mind. The only adult who had ever really been kind to him had been Mrs. Walker, but that was more out of pity than actually caring about him. He nodded. 

“Yeah, okay, I can see a therapist.” 

“Good. Now, do you want something to eat?” 

* * *

School sucked, point blank. It had sucked sophomore year when he only cared about basketball and football. It had sucked junior year when he was dealing with the aftermath of the tapes. It sucked even more senior year when he had missed half of the year and desperately wanted to do well enough to graduate. At first, Clay had offered to tutor him in the evenings but it always ended up in an argument and Clay was a pretty terrible tutor. So, Zach and Courtney ended up being his tutors. Courtney did nothing but talk the entire time and, while it was endearing to hear her daydreaming about a girl, it got annoying to hear the same things all the day. But she was helping him a lot with science so he couldn’t really complain. But Zach was still a better tutor, maybe just because he rewarded Justin with candy for every right answer. 

He was going to have to go to summer school in order to graduate, which was the part that really sucked. He went to graduation with the Jensens and watched from the audience as all his friends walked across the stage in their cap and gowns to receive their diplomas in late May. But he knew that if he actually studied he could get his own diploma by August. The summer school was really inconveniencing though because everyone was having fun while he sat in an air-conditioned room with a bunch of other kids who didn’t care whether or not the teacher even showed up. 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays after school Clay would drop him off at his therapist's on his way to the Crestmont. The therapist ended up being a lot less weird than he had anticipated. After a few awkwardly quiet sessions, he began to actually talk about it all. And there was a ton to talk about: never knowing his father, his mother constantly prioritizing drugs and boyfriends, Seth, the tapes, what he did to Jess, and now getting adopted. He hadn’t had one of those magical breakthroughs you were supposed to have in therapy where you suddenly don’t feel like a total failure, but it did feel nice to have someone listen without judging him. 

Mrs. Jensen would pick him up after therapy on her way home from work and she would always argue at first but give in and drive them through some fast food restaurant. From a distance, her lawyer personality had seemed a bit cold, but she was a very sweet lady. On one particular night, they had chosen to drive through McDonald's as a way of celebrating that they had finally tracked down his mother to sign the adoption papers so they could begin to finalize it all. It was turning into an incredibly happy day until they pulled up to the house. 

“Do you recognize that car?” There was an old car along the road of their house. It was dark, but Justin could see the figure inside his car. 

“It’s my mom.” Mrs. Jensen quickly pulled into the driveway and Justin hopped out of the car just as his mother drove off in the same instant. And as if it was all happening simultaneously, another car emerged from the shade underneath an oak tree about twenty yards behind. The window of the car was rolled down and the figure inside, an angry drug dealer his one hand gripped on the wheel and the other in the shape of a gun resting against his forehead, and his eyes locked with Justin’s as he drove by to follow the first car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, the comment section I woke up to was so overwhelming. I was not expecting to get so much feedback to quickly, so thank you all so much!! Thank you to everyone who gave a suggestion, I hear you and I definitely have some ideas for how to incorporate them. 
> 
> I know this chapter is really short but I haven't written in a while so I'm trying to focus on just getting my ideas out even if they are a little shorter than I'd usually prefer. Hopefully, as I continue this I will get back to writing longer (and better chapters). I also just wanted to get something up as soon as I could as a way of saying thank you for all the sweet words. 
> 
> Wishing a lovely day to everyone :)


	3. We're Here Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a warning in case it's triggering for you, this chapter begins with some graphic violence and language.

Justin had been even more on edge since he’d seen Seth. Although happy to see his mother was looking for him, he was terrified now that Seth knew where he was. The Jensens, just as afraid, vowed to always have someone at home with Justin, which was much easier said than done. They managed to successfully avoid a Seth altercation for almost three weeks. It was a late Friday evening and Justin was biking home from Zach’s house. Mr. Jensen would be home about fifteen minutes later.

The first ten minutes Justin tried to keep the thought of Seth out of his mind and go about his evening as usual. He put his bike in the garage and tossed his backpack next to the front door and headed into the kitchen to find something to eat. He found leftovers in the fridge and decided to heat them upon the stove when he heard the door from the garage opening. Before he could even process what was going on a hand was gripping his neck and shoving him roughly against the fridge, his head slamming against the stainless steel. 

“You seriously think you could jus’ take all my money and send your mother off and I wouldn’t fucking come after you? You stupid, worthless piece of shit.” Thud. Thud. The back of his head pounded against the fridge. He could feel his brain inside of his skull getting tossed around. “You’re gonna fucking pay for this, kid.” Both of Seth’s hand gripped his neck and lifted him higher into the air, shaking and slamming him against the fridge. As the lights began to blur he was suddenly let go and fell to the floor where Seth proceeded to kick his chest and his legs and his back. When he tried to curl in on himself the man grabbed his arms and legs and dragged his body open. 

“You fuckin’ ruined my life, you know that? You cost me my job and now you’re gonna repay me, little bitch.” The kicking continued only for a moment before he was pulling him up by his neck again. Justin couldn’t tell if he was coughing, crying, bleeding, or choking his body was so numb from the fear. In the following moment, his life flashed before his eyes as all three Jensens entered through the garage door. Seth turned to see how it was and let go of Justin, who fell against the pot on the stove, burning his arm and sending the pot of boiling hot water all over both himself and Seth. Though screaming in pain, Seth ran out of the house in midst the chaos before anyone was able to catch him. Exhausted and in more pain than he’d ever felt, Justin’s body froze on the kitchen floor. The only sound was the faint and choked sobs escaping his lips. 

“Justin, oh my god. Matt, call an ambulance right now.” Head throbbing and tears blurring his vision, Justin was only partially aware of what was going on as Mrs. Jensen and Clay dragged him away from the puddle of boiling water. Mrs. Jensen had her arms wrapped around her shoulders pulling his body gently against her own. Clay handed her a few towels for Justin, some for the water and some for the blood. They were talking but all Justin could hear was a ringing sound echoing in the back of his skull. His eyes blinked shut as a blur of red and blue lights shined through the kitchen windows. 

* * *

The first thing he saw when he regained consciousness was his social worker, Carla. His eyes flickered around the room at the Jensens. Mrs. Jensen was sitting in the chair at the foot of his bed typing a message on her phone. Mr. Jensen, sitting in the chair closer to the front of the bed, and Carla were talking about something when suddenly a nurse was at his side and all eyes were on him. 

Justin had had panic attacks before, sure, but he still could never tell that he was having one. It just felt like his heart was swelling through his lungs and out of his chest, knocking out all his breath in the process. And his head, his head was definitely trying to crush him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. He looked down at his hands as they trembled and coughed out the air clogging his breath. 

“Lainie, he’s awake.” 

“Breathe, just breathe.” The nurse’s eyes locked with his, his trembling hand clutched between her smaller ones. She was taking dramatically deep breathes and rubbing her thumbs in circles over his hands. “You’re alright, just breathe and count with me. One, two, three… good job. Four, five, six… you’re doing so well. Seven, eight, nine, ten.” She gently lowered his hand, no longer shaking, back onto the hospital blanket and handed him a small paper cup of water. 

“It was just a panic attack, you’re alright.” The water sort of burned his throat as it went down and he began coughing again, something that made his entire chest feel like it was on fire. She took the half-empty cup from his hand and set it down on his bedside table. 

“How are you feeling, Justin?” Mrs. Jensen asked, leaning forward as if to be closer to him. Subconsciously, he felt his body flinch and slightly curl in on itself. His eyes meet the nurse’s again and then quickly dashed back to Mrs. Jensen’s. Mr. Jensen had his hand on the bed near Justin’s but not yet touching. His eyes were so gently sad, as if he were looking at a kicked puppy. There were too many eyes, too many people staring at him. 

“H-Hurts.” The word was so engulfed in coughs it was almost inaudible. He pointed toward his chest. 

“You have a few broken ribs,” the nurse explained. “You also have a mild concussion, which is why your head is probably hurting a little bit, and some burns on your right arm too.” Justin nodded. “We’re going to give you some medicine which is going to help with the pain, but it’s going to be a few months before everything is healed so you need to rest.” She explained the rest of his care instructions to the Jensens and then left the room to talk with Carla about medical insurance or something like that, Justin was too tired to listen. 

“Just rest for now, we’ll be going home soon.” Mr. Jensen placed his hand on top of Justin’s and held it softly. And Justin let his eyes close and his hand be held as his body lulled him back into a dazed sleep. 

He woke only shortly after and was helped back into his clothes by the nurse. His body was covered in bruises and he had never felt such pain putting on a pair of pants before. Finally, she led him out of the room where the Mr. Jensen helped to practically carry him out to the car. Mrs. Jensen and Clay were already inside arguing quietly about the temperature when Justin struggled to lift himself into the front seat. Mr. Jensen reclined the seat a little for him and shut the door, hopping into the back with Clay. Everything was quiet except for the sound of Mrs. Jensen telling Justin to try and stay awake until they got home. 

After a silent and seemingly endless car ride, the Jensens finally arrived home. Mr. Jensen steadied Justin as he got out of the car and up the stairs to his room, lifting him up into the bed. Mrs. Jensen was fixing the blinds so they let some light in but not enough to give him a headache and brought in extra blankets from the hall closet. 

“It’s best for you to stay awake, but if you do want to sleep we just have to wake you up every other hour.” 

“I have to run out to get your medicine, so I can get soup or anything you want, okay?” Justin’s eyes couldn’t seem to look up at either of them as they spoke. “Do you think you’ll feel up to some food in a little while?” He couldn’t get a word into his brain let alone out of his mouth so he just wrapped his arms around himself and slouched against the pillow, knees curling up to his chest. 

“I’m so sorry.” Both of them were at his side in a moment, Mrs. Jensen’s arms wrapped around his shoulders with a hand running through his hair. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, this was not your fault. None of this is your fault.” Mr. Jensen’s words were as serious as they were kind. 

“If you hadn’t let me stay here none of this would’ve happened.”

“Stop it. You’re not staying here, this is your home and that’s how it going to stay. I promise you this is never happening again, not under my roof.” 

“I’m so sorry.” As Mrs. Jensen wiped a tear off his face he realized he must have started crying at some point. 

“Justin, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” The way her arms gently rocked him was something out of his young mind’s imagination of what a caring mother ought to do. “We’re here now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in two days? I just couldn't help myself between all of the incredible feedback and my first day of summer break. I'm terrible at writing dialogue but there wasn't much in the first two chapters and I really wanted to incorporate some into this one. 
> 
> Again, I couldn't be more grateful for all of your feedback, each kudos and comment means so much to me. Hope you enjoy this little chapter :)


	4. You Won't Lose Me

Justin awoke to sun glaring through the window and the smell of bacon. He was tucked under a fluffy comforter in the softest pair of pajama pants he’d ever felt. For a moment, the world was perfectly content. And then the pain and the memories of the weekend came rushing back to him, knocking his breath out for a moment. 

The only person who had ever actually witnessed one of his beatings was his mother. People knew it happened but nobody ever saw it and no one really asked about it either. But now three people, three of the most important people in his life, had just witnessed one of the worst ones. The anxiety of possibly having to talk about it with them ate at him and he pulled the blankets tighter around himself. What if he had to explain that Seth wanted him dead because he had stolen his money to buy alcohol and heroin? What if they realized how much trouble Justin really was, what a danger to their family he was? Did they still even want to adopt him?

“Hey, you’re up.” Mr. Jensen was standing in the doorframe with two ceramic blue mugs of coffee. He walked over to the bed, resting both mugs on the nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed against Justin’s legs. “You can take more pain meds as soon as you get some food in you.” His hand gave his leg a gentle pat and then ruffled his hair. “Food will be ready in about five minutes.” Taking one of the coffees with him, he left Justin with his thoughts. 

Ideally, Justin would stay in the warmth and safety of the bed forever, but the smell of food and the urge to pee were telling him otherwise. He immediately regretted it as pain surged through his whole body as he threw his legs off the side of the bed. Even the fleece pajama pants seemed to burn against his skin. Suddenly, the thought of pain meds was even more appealing than his bed. 

Mr. Jensen had gone all out on the breakfast. There was bacon and eggs, pancakes, waffles, fruit, and toast. Mrs. Jensen and Clay were setting the table as Justin entered the room. Unsure of what to do or where to be, Justin waited nervously in the doorway, picking at the sleeve of his sweater. 

“Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?” Slightly caught off guard by the pet name and still anticipating their reactions about the whole Seth situation, all he could manage was a shrug. She gave him the raised eyebrow ‘mom’ sort of look but didn’t ask anything further, instead handed him a plate. He just as silent through the meal, listening to the conversations about work and school and remodeling the downstairs bathroom. He wasn’t trying to be silent but every time he was acknowledged it was like his body just shut down and the words refused to escape his lips. 

After they finished eating Justin helped with the dishes before retreating back into bed to try to ignore everything going on around him. Which lasted for about ten minutes when Clay came into his room. 

“Justin, I know you’re not asleep so come out from under the blanket.” He did. “I know that what happened was really hard for you, but you don’t need to shut down like this. You can talk to us, you know?” 

“Like how you talked about what happened that night at Bryce’s?” 

“Okay, fair.” He sat down at the end of the bed as Justin sat up against the headboard. “I’m like, I’m here for you now, okay? If you need some space, that’s fine, but you can talk to me about anything. There’s pretty much nothing I haven’t seen by now.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, good. I’m going to meet Zach and Alex in a few hours to study if you feel up to it.”

“I don’t know, thanks though.” As Clay made his way out of the room Justin spoke again. “Jensen, it doesn’t have to be me or your parents or whatever, but you need to talk about it.”

“I know. It’s just kind of a hard conversation to start.”

“Trust me, I get it. It’s just… look, I’ve sort of lost everything in my life and I can’t really lose anything else, okay?” Clay sighed, a small smile creeping on his face. 

“You won’t lose me, I promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short but I don't have much time and I really wanted to update this. I also wanted to try and balance all the heaviness of the last chapter with one a little bit lighter (don't worry this is not the end of the angst). 
> 
> Thanks for all of the support this story is getting. I couldn't be more grateful for every kudos and comment. Have a lovely day :)


	5. We Won't Let That Happen

”Justin, can you come downstairs? We need to talk to you.” The sound of Mrs. Jensen’s voice interrupted Clay and Justin’s _Narcos_ marathon. If anyone asked, though, the boys had been studying for physics and not watching Netflix. 

”Coming.” He turned to Clay, warning “Don’t watch anything without me.” 

Mr. Jensen was drying the dishes, saying something quietly to Mrs. Jensen, who was still sitting at the island with a glass of wine, when Justin entered the kitchen. There was an opened envelope and paperwork under her fingertips. His first instinct was his mother’s signature had been sent back to their lawyer. But at a second glance, the way Mr. Jensen’s shoulders hunched in a little bit and the way Mrs. Jensen was fiddling with her hands, he knew it wasn’t going to be good news. 

”Justin, sweetheart, you know we want you to be a part of this family, right?” Mrs. Jensen asked as she noticed his presence. He nodded. Mr. Jensen set the last plate into the counter before approaching the opposite side of the island. “Come ‘ere, sit down.” As he sat he gently pushed the paperwork toward him so he could see the blank line where a signature was meant to lay. 

”So, she still hasn’t signed it? I thought the lawyer said that he had been in contact with her?” 

”He has been in contact with her.” 

”I don’t understand.” By the looks on their faces, he kind of did understand what was going on. Mrs. Jensen gently rubbed his forearm and then took a sip of her wine. 

”Your mother, she refused to sign the papers.” Mr. Jensen finally spoke, looking Justin straight in the eye with each word. His eyes looked tired, worn. 

”She-, that doesn’t make any sense.” Justin wasn’t sure what to say, or what to think. He finally had something, a family, but now he would just get sent back to live with his mother and then back on the streets when Seth found out. He couldn’t go back on the streets again, not when he knew how much better his life could be. He was going to finish high school, he couldn’t just throw it all away. 

”Justin, did you hear me?”

”Sorry, Mrs. Jensen.” 

”That’s alright. I said tomorrow we’re going to meet with the lawyer and your mother and her lawyer and figure out where to go from here. I’ll pick you up from school early and we’ll go down to the courthouse together.” 

”I-I can’t go back there.” He admitted softly, memories of Seth flooding through his head. If it were just his mother, he would go home. Even if it meant not finishing school or having enough food to eat at night. He loved his mother. But Seth was going to _kill him_ if he ever went back there he was positive. “He’ll kill me.” The court wouldn’t care about that. 

” Justin, we won’t let that happen.” Mr. Jensen’s tired eyes looked really strong all of a sudden, like the look he had seen in Mrs. Baker’s eyes when she talked about getting justice for Hannah. He wasn’t sure if it was parental or just protective, but it wasn’t anything he had ever seen in the eyes of an adult looking at him before. It silenced Seth’s image in his mind for a moment. 

”They already know she wasn’t around when you needed to be bailed out. After they do a house check they can declare it as unfit for a child and we can adopt you no matter what. It’s going to be okay.” Mrs. Jensen’s words sounded confident but her eyes, just as Mr. Jensen’s, were tired. He knew he should believe her, but something in her eyes made it really difficult. 

”Okay.” It was all he could manage to say, unsure if anything else was really necessary. What could he do at this point anyway? None of it was up to him, it wasn’t really up to the Jensen’s or his mother either. It was all up to one judge, maybe even the same judge who sent Bryce Walker off with merely three months and a slap on the wrist. Maybe he would give Seth a slap on the wrist and forgive him for killing Justin. It seemed like almost anything was possible when you entered that courtroom. But his mother and Seth couldn’t have as good of a lawyer as Bryce, could they? 

”Go get some sleep, kid.” 

As Justin went back upstairs he thought about what would happen if his mother refused to give up custody. He hadn’t lived in that house for over a year now. His mother hadn’t tried to call him even once. When she found out he was on heroin, she had done nothing. He had stolen money from Seth and the man was ready to kill him. And here, with the Jensens, he was actually happy. He had people pushing him to stay in school, to get enough sleep, to eat healthy, he had someone there at night to comfort him when he dreamed about Seth, he had a real family. But, that could all be gone by tomorrow after school.

Ignoring his Netflix marathon with Clay, he went directly to his room and tucked himself as far underneath the covers as he could go. What if this was the last night he would ever spend in a comfortable bed with clean sheets and fluffed pillows. Justin had known he was unlucky his entire life, but now it was like the universe was just dangling hope in front of him and ripping it away at the last moment, over and over again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time, no chapter? I've been pretty busy lately and I'm going to even busier the next few weeks but I'll try to get something out for you guys. I am still overwhelmed at the reaction this fic is getting, your comments make my day every time. 
> 
> I am not sure yet where exactly this fic is going, so maybe you guys could give me some ideas. I have some ideas for fluff but my brain seems to just want to write angst. Any ideas are appreciated. 
> 
> Have a lovely day :)


	6. You Promised That You Would Stay

Justin was so nervous that morning that he couldn’t eat a single bite of breakfast. He didn’t speak a single word until they arrived to the courthouse. Lainie had her arm around him tightly as they walked up the front steps of the building, tsunamis of bad memories flooding both of their minds. Justin stared at his toes. 

Matt and Lainie led Justin through the courthouse and into a conference room. Matt took a seat next to Justin and poured them each a glass of water. Lainie was already going through paperwork and rehearsing the conversations in her mind when the judge, Miss Foley, and her lawyer walked in. 

At first Justin didn’t even look up, but when his mother’s foot took a step into the room, his eyes rose for the first time all day. She was skinnier, but so was he. She was wearing more clothes than he had seen her wear in a while, her blouse looked iron, _did they even own an iron?_ Her hair was tucked into a bun. If you didn’t look at her face she almost passed as put together. But her eyes were still bloodshot and he knew that if you pushed up her sleeves you could see each of the veins in her arms clearly. Yet, he hadn’t thought she would try this hard. 

”Justin, baby.” He bit down on his bottom lip, unsure if he was ready to cry or scream. Part of him wanted nothing more than to yell at her for not caring, for kicking him out on the street time and time again, for watching as boyfriend after boyfriend kicked him to the ground, for never having enough food to eat, for everything she had ever done. But another part of him just wanted her to wrap him up into her arms and promise she was going to do better and would be better, _for him._ She would always be his mother, no matter what happened. No matter how many times she would show him that she didn’t care, he would always love her. 

”Hi, Mom.” She and her lawyer took the seats across from him and Matt. Her lawyer looked tired, overworked. His tie wasn’t as tight as it should be, and his suit looked an entire size too small. He poured himself a cup of water and gulped it down before they began. 

At first, Justin didn’t listen much to what the lawyers were saying. All he could focus on was the little voice in the back of his head telling him that she was finally going to change, this was finally going to be the last straw. She was going to choose him. Her bloodshot eyes hadn’t left his own. 

”Please, baby. Seth is gone, you can come home.” Those words would haunt him night after night, but in that moment all they did was bring a tear out from his watery eyes. “I want you to come home.” She looked like she was going to cry too. Matt took one of Justin’s hands in his own. 

”Miss Foley not only allowed her son to be assaulted by multiple boyfriends and allowed them to kick him out to live on the streets, she also brought heroin into the home.” Justin heard the words Mrs. Jensen was saying but his mother was so close and she was crying and she told him that he should come home. He wanted to be with the Jensens, he knew he needed to be with the Jensens, but this was his mother and she wanted him home. “When he was in juvie, she refused contact and hasn’t attempted to contact him since. He spent months living homeless on the streets and she never even attempted to contact him or help him. She is simply not adequate to take care of a child.”

”Justin, I love you. I need you.” Her voice was overshadowed by the lawyer and Mrs. Jensen. “You promised that you would stay.” Justin felt his heart swell up, his hands began to tremble, his breathing wouldn’t even out. Matt squeezed his hand, his other hand rubbing Justin’s arm. 

”Just breathe, it’s alright,” he said softly under the chaos of all of the other noise. And then the judge called for silence, he had come to his decision. Justin could feel all the breath leave his chest. His hands felt like bricks. 

”I have heard enough. Clearly, in the case of Amber Foley versus Lainie Jensen, Miss Foley is in no way equipped to take care of her son. Due to the allowance of abuse and adolescent homelessness, I declare her unfit to be his guardian and should not have any visitation. In turn, full custody will be given to Lainie and Matt, effective immediately.” Before he could manage to regain his breath, his mother was being dragged out of the room by her lawyer, her cheeks covered in tears. She was yelling, angry.

He was crying too. He wanted to hug her, to tell her he still loved her. He wanted to tell her to stay away from men like Seth, to finally do better for herself. To tell her she could change if she wanted to, like the Jensens had let him change. But instead all he got were incoherent cries and Matt’s heavy arm pulling him close in a hug. Matt was also crying, he could feel the wetness falling onto his own face which was tucked away in the man’s chest. He cried for the joy of being a Jensen, for the trauma of losing his mother, for the pain of everything that had gotten him that far. But mostly, he cried at the love in his junkie mother’s bloodshot eyes and how much he longed to see them again. _No visitation_. Only for a moment he allowed his mind to imagine that it was his mother embracing him. Only for a moment, though. 

When it was all over, when everyone had stopped crying, they took him out for dinner. Clay was waiting at the restaurant for them. It was such a celebration, they couldn’t be happier. Justin knew that he had wanted this before they even brought up adoption, but his heart was heavy and he was tired. Maybe after a good night of sleep he would be more excited to be a Jensen, the pain of losing his mother would eventually lessen. He loved Lainie and Matt, and hell he loved Clay too, he wanted to be part of their family. But at that moment his smile felt a little too forced. They were his new family and suddenly it was more daunting than ever. It was even more terrifying than when he had relapsed. It was real now, on paper and official. They couldn’t just un-adopt him when things got tough. 

”How are we feeling about dessert boys?” Clay’s eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised happily. He looked like someone who would never think about sticking a gun to his head. _And what if he did it again?_ Who knows when he was going to talk to Matt and Lainie about that. But, then again, Justin had never told a soul other than Jess about when he almost jumped. Clay had no idea what a hypocrite he truly was. He felt sick. But he smiled softly, nodding. He wanted to celebrate, to let himself just be happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am seriously so sorry that it's taken me so long to update this. My life has been super busy but I'm not giving up on this fic. Second, I think I might have more of an idea where this is headed. I wanna do kind of angsty and fluffy almost-one-shots that play off one and other but can be read separately or in two or three chapters at a time. I don't exactly have one big storyline in mind, so I think almost-one-shots might be a better way to approach general life with Justin and the Jensens. Also, I'm thinking of adding some Justlex, but what would you guys think? It would probably be more of a slow burn type of romance though. 
> 
> Also, I have some experience with fostering children (not much but a little) and I think that it's common for kids to still really want to be with their parents even when their parents have done terrible things to them. I tried to potray this in this chapter because I think the TV show doesn't really show this side, that no matter what people still try to see the best in their parents sometimes. Obviously not all the time, but I truly feel like Justin's character would experience this seeing how much he craves a loving family. Also, I know nothing about custody battles and law and courtrooms, etc. so the only inspiration I had for that scene and what the judge said was from movies. If it seems ridiculous it's because I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I wanted to get the emotions in there somehow. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all so much for all your kind words and comments. As always, they completely make my day and give me the inspiration my writer's block needs to keep this story going. All ideas are welcome and all kindness is appreciated. 
> 
> Have a lovely day :)


	7. We Have A Little Surprise

Justin had just taken his last summer school final and was waiting for Clay to pick him up. Their parents, _their parents sounded so weird_ , were treating them out to dinner in celebration of summer school being over. Justin wished they would wait to celebrate until after they found out if he actually passed them, but apparently, they had high hopes for him. And Clay was late, as usual. 

He wouldn’t be lying if he wasn’t a little freaked out waiting on the bench alone. Ever since Seth had broken in to the house he had been having trouble being alone. Which usually wasn’t an issue, up until today at least. It had been two weeks since he adoption was official, and while it was a great two weeks, he was still really shaken from the attack and from losing his mother. He could tell that Matt and Lainie noticed because their voices were always a little softer with him than with Clay, not to mention he was still having nightmares. 

However, he was starting to feel more like himself again. Not that he ever really felt like himself before. His whole life he had spent afraid and desperate, night after night at Bryce’s house. The first few years he had slept in one of the guest bedrooms, you couldn’t exactly let a ten-year-old stay alone in the pool house. Bryce’s mom was always nice to him, but she worked a lot and wasn’t home much. Bryce’s dad didn’t seem to even notice Justin was there, or maybe he had just chosen to ignore him. The first few years it was so innocent. Bryce had still been selfish, but they were friends. Bryce stood up for him at school, his parents bought him clothes and everything he needed for school, and he loved spending time at Bryce’s big house with all his cool stuff. For a while, the Walker’s had been his safe house. 

Then high school came around. Bryce hadn’t always been the nicest person but he really became a dick in high school. His father was working more and so nobody at home payed him any attention. He was the ‘big man on campus’ at school because of his athleticism and charisma. And above everything, he had always been especially talented in manipulation. Justin never cared that it was always Bryce’s choice of movie or snack because he was just happy to have a movie or a snack. But suddenly, it was Bryce’s pick of girls or Bryce’s choice of who they would tease the shit out of. Justin didn’t want to become like Bryce initially, but after a year he noticed he too was laughing at people and taking pictures of girls in their underwear. 

Well, just one girl. 

That was the thing, Justin had this reputation when it came to girls, a reputation he had only gotten because of his association with Bryce. He had only ever dated one girl before Hannah, and they never even went on a real date. They would kiss outside the school before they got on the bus. He didn’t love her but she was sweet. They broke up because Bryce thought her brother was a loser and she didn’t want to be around anyone who would make fun of him. Justin was upset, but it wasn’t worth losing the roof over his head or his dinner. He never realized what Bryce had been capable of, he figured he was just the average asshole, all talk and no game. He realized, looking back on it all, just how wrong he had been about him. 

He knew that he could be wrong about people. He was wrong about Bryce, he was so wrong when he thought hiding the truth was what Jess needed, and he was wrong every time he thought his mom would chose him over one of her boyfriends. He also thought that maybe he had been wrong about himself for a while. He had gotten so carried away in Bryce’s life that he lost himself, his own opinion. In fairness, he never had the chance to have his own opinion before. Each time the Jensen’s asked him what he thought he was taken a little bit off guard, not quite sure himself. 

Finally, Clay pulled up and Justin hopped off the bench and into the passenger’s seat. 

”Well, how’d it go?”

”Okay, I guess. I’ll find out Friday.” Clay’s eyes were warm, but rolled nonetheless. 

”You did fine, don’t worry. I literally quizzed you on everything, so I know that you know it.” 

”Yeah, whatever.” He threw his backpack into the back seat and they took off to the restaurant. It was an Italian restaurant and the moment they walked through the door the smell of pizza practically lifted them off their feet. Dramatic, yes, but it smelled amazing and Justin could almost feel his mouth watering as they slid into the booth across from Lainie and Matt. 

After almost the same conversation he’d had with Clay in the car, they changed the subject to pizza. Clay and Matt were both strong believers that pineapple belonged on pizza, but Justin and Lainie knew how wrong they were. They finally decided to get one with and one without when Justin declared he could probably eat almost an entire pizza himself. 

”He could use an entire pizza,” teased Clay and Justin rolled his eyes. He hadn’t gotten a chance to workout in almost a year so he had lost all of his muscle, not just the bodyweight from living on the streets and spending time in juvie. He liked to act as though it didn’t both him, but it did. He was used to being the handsome Justin Foley with muscular arms and a pretty face. Now he was skinner than Standall and his legs perhaps smaller than chicken legs. So, he was prepared to eat the whole pizza. Not that he was actually that motivated to get his old body back. The old Justin was muscular, the asshole Justin. Maybe it took getting rid of his looks to become a nicer person, or maybe he was worried deep down that he could become that person again. 

When the pizza finally did come, he almost lived up to his hype. He was six pieces in when his stomach closed off and refused to allow any more pizza. He already felt sick, but didn’t turn down the offer to go get ice cream afterward. When they had all finished eating and they were awaiting the bill, Matt and Lainie suddenly looked at each other with giddy expressions. 

”Boys, we have a little surprise.” Lainie folded her hands in front of her on the table, it was so proper but he shoulders were relaxed and she grinned. 

”What?”

”We’ve decided that we’re going to go on a little trip for the rest of the summer, starting Sunday. We’re going to fly down to Key West and spend a week at the beach in celebration of the newest addition to our family and also in celebration of both of you getting through the past two years. We know they have been pretty stressful, and we’re really proud of you both.” 

He wouldn’t cry again, he promised himself. He cried too much and now was not the time. But his eyes did water over and to hell if they did, he had never been on a vacation before. The Walkers had never invited him and his own mother never had the means to go. He had never left the county and now he was going all the way across the country. He was so excited and looked over to see Clay looking equally as excited. His pizza-filled stomach hurt a little bit less. They started to fill them in on the details, when the plane would leave and how they were staying in a hotel right on the beach and how they had to pack a lot of sunscreen, etc.

It was the first night in a long time that Justin slept soundly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again with another chapter. This one is a little bit lighter finally, although I did want to start talking about how I think some of Justin's past when and etc. The next chapter or so should be mostly fluff with a little bit of angst or drama here and there. But they're going on vacation so it will be a good time. Thanks for your lovely reviews, I wish sunshiney days to all of you.


	8. Nothing But Air Underneath

The Jensen’s had taken Justin to TJ Maxx to get a suitcase. Lainie explained how a decent chunk of each paycheck was spent on various items she didn’t actually need and, in the process, she had accumulated enough rewards points for Justin to get a new suitcase. He picked out a black one that had wheels and an automatic lock. Apparently, it could even charge his phone. 

Lainie helped Justin and Clay pack their suitcases Saturday night. Clay sat on the bed reading comics most of night, momentarily looking up to approve or disapprove of things Lainie would hold up. It was the first time Justin ever packed a bag with the intention of coming back, it was weird but good. Like a little kid on Christmas Eve, he had trouble falling asleep that night. 

“Clay.”

“Yeah.”

“How long is the plane ride going to be?” 

“About nine and a half hours.” 

“Do you think the water is going to be as blue as it is in the pictures on the website?”

“Maybe.” 

“Have you ever been to the East Coast before, Clay?”

“Yeah, we have family in New York state and in Virginia.” 

“Oh. I’ve never been out of California.”

“You’re gonna love it.” 

He finally fell asleep around two in the morning and woke to Clay shaking his shoulders. It was five in the morning. 

“You can sleep on the plane. C’mon.” 

They grabbed PopTarts for breakfast and helped Lainie and Matt put all the bags in the car. The airport wasn’t far so Justin couldn’t sleep on the way there even though his eyes kept closing. The airport was huge, he had never even seen one in real life before. He clutched the straps on his backpack as they walked through the front doors. 

So, the airport wasn’t actually that glamorous and the line to go through security took them an hour of waiting. By that point, Justin was practically asleep hunched over his bag. Security was a mess and made him a little anxious as he stood his hands above his head in the scanner. They found their gate with a half an hour to spare so Matt went to get them some food. Justin’s knee was bouncing anxiously as they waited for the plane to be called. Lainie silently put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Maybe he was a little more nervous about the plane than he had let them know. 

“Flight FL607 with service to Fort Lauderdale is now boarding zone one,” came blaring over the loud speaker and Justin looked around the crowded room for Matt. He still wasn’t back with their food. 

“What zone are we, Mom?” It was the first time Clay had looked up from his phone since they went through security. He was probably texting Sheri. 

“Zone two. If you need to use the restroom go now.” Justin didn’t want to get up and lose the hand on his shoulder so he stayed put. Matt was back before they called for zone two. They waited in that line for another fifteen minutes and by that point he was practically sweating, looking over people’s eyes to try and catch a glimpse of the weird hallway thing that they would walk down to get on the plane. In movies people always got on and off the steps of a plane, there were never hallways like this one. 

They finally made it to the front of the line and they handed the flight attendant their boarding passes before entering the hallway. It was hot in the hallway and it smelled like old carpet. Once they reached the end of the hallway he could finally see into the plane. Even though he could see two flight attendants standing upright it still seemed like the ceiling was way too low. He followed Clay through the doorway and down to their seats. 

“Boys do you want to sit together?” Lainie asked as she put her suitcase into the overhead. Clay put his in next to her and then showed Justin where to put his. 

“I want window,” Clay claimed sliding in to his seat. Justin hesitated but took the aisle seat next to Clay. Part of him wanted to sit next to Lainie or Matt, but he was too proud to admit that to anyone. Matt ran his fingers through Justin’s hair and took the aisle seat across from him. He felt sick to his stomach as they waited about forty minutes to get in line for the runway. They waited for what seemed like an eternity to take off. As the plane began to speed down the track Justin felt bile rising up in his chest, he hands gripped the armrests. 

“Hey, man, it’s okay.” Clay’s hand gently held Justin’s forearm. Justin shook his head, if he spoke he could either vomit or cry and both sounded awful. The plan began to lift and he put his hand over his mouth. 

“Dad, he’s gonna be sick I think.”

Matt reached over and pulled his doggy bag out of the seat pocket and handed it to him. 

“It’s alright, lots of people feel sick during takeoff. Put your head back against the seat and keep still, you’ll feel better.” He didn’t feel better. He wanted to cry. It was official, Justin hated planes and he hated flying and he didn’t really care that much about Florida he just wanted to get off the plane and go home. 30 hours didn’t seem like too long of a drive. “Clay when we get in the air switch seats with me.” He was whispering so Justin assumed they didn’t want him to hear. He felt like an idiot and a tear stubbornly leaked out of his eye. He could feel Clay’s hand running up and down his arm, probably trying to comfort him. 

Justin closed his eyes as tears continued to run down his face. The plane shook a little and seemed to straighten out when he finally heard a little chime followed by the click of two seatbelts. He kept his eyes closed but he could hear and feel Clay and Matt shuffling around him. By the time he opened his eyes Matt had both arms around him. He was too scared to feel embarrassed anymore as he clung onto Matt. He expected to be anxious but he didn’t expect himself to be this terrified. Maybe it was something about the weird feeling of having nothing but air underneath you and the way his ears felt like they had suddenly filled up with water. He could feel the snot dribbling out of his nose. 

“It’s alright, kiddo. It’s alright.” He finally started to calm down as he dozed off on Matt’s shoulder. Well, maybe he didn’t doze off so much as fall completely asleep. By the time he woke up they were serving lunch. The initial shock of being on the plane had died down; he didn’t feel like crying anymore but his stomach still felt pretty bad. The lunch they gave made his stomach churn so he just ate some of the rice and crackers. 

“Only three more hours,” Matt told him as they ate. He showed Justin how to work the TV on the headrest in front of him. He watched some Marvel movie until he fell back to sleep. He decided that sleeping was the only sure way to get through a flight. He also decided that he was not going to think about the fact that he would have to get on a plane again to go back to California. When he woke up they were getting ready to land and Matt kept an arm wrapped firmly around him the other in his hand. 

The landing wasn’t as bad as takeoff and he was instantly filled with relief when the plane safely touched the ground. Even though he wasn’t scared anymore he was still the first one out of his seat and collecting his bag from the overhead. Stepping back into the weird smelly hallway in the hot Florida air was one of the feelings of his life. It was also much easier getting out of an airport than inside, they didn’t even have to wait long at baggage claim before their suitcases tumbled out. The only thing that took a while was getting their rental car but they were on land so it didn’t seem so bad. They got a minivan and everybody immediately began teasing Matt for his choice of vehicle. 

And maybe, just maybe, the terrible plane ride was worth it as they drove over a few long bridges across the blue calm waters. It was so different than windy California beaches, it was so serene. Not that he ever wanted to get on a plane again, but maybe the beach was worth all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Am I actually here updating this story? Sorry for such a long wait I have been so busy and no motivated but lately I've really gotten back into writing and I wanted to update this story and not just leave it adrift like I tend to do with chapter fics. I'm going to try and update again soon, but no promises. 
> 
> Have a lovely day :)


	9. You’re Safe Now

The first time Lainie and Matt truly yelled in front of Justin was —to be frank— a shit show. Neither Jensen had ever yelled at Justin before. Lainie had worked with enough children from abusive backgrounds and Matt had read plenty of pamphlets so they knew they needed to have a softer approach with him than they had with Clay. 

When Clay did something wrong, neither parent was afraid to yell or give him a deserving punishment. When Justin did something wrong —which hadn’t happened much since he was also so eager to please— they needed to take a minute to breathe and speak calmly with him. 

However, all of the calmness went out the window when they found out he had relapsed and was back on heroin. The two had barged into his bedroom with tin foil and a burned spoon with anger pulsing through their veins. Justin practically flew off his desk chair when they walked through the doorway. 

“Justin what the hell is this?” questioned Lainie firmly. The look in her eyes screamed angry lawyer but to Justin it was so much more than that. Angry adults gave a completely different feeling to Justin’s instincts: _run_. Angry meant violent. As much as he tried to tell himself that the Jensen’s were kind people, it still terrified him when he heard yelling. 

Usually the only time Matt and Lainie raised their voices was when Justin wasn’t in the room. The first time it had happened was when Clay found him curled up on the steps. Luckily, Clay had been so worked up himself that he had ran off to his room before he could notice how upset Justin really was. Matt had gone outside to cool off, slamming the front door, when Lainie found Justin on the steps. 

She had crouched before him, running her finger tips in circles along his back. He’d had a panic attack, her hand clutching his whispering kind words into his ear. He had been so embarrassed but so relieved when her entire tone switched upon seeing him on the stairs. It was the mother’s instinct he had always heard about but never really seen. He could tell they tried to shield him from any further fights. 

Now though, they didn’t seem to care about that anymore. Justin’s whole body was shaking when he saw what Lainie was holding and the fury in Matt’s eyes. 

“This better not be what I think it is, Justin.” 

His relationship with Matt was still so strange. Matt was the person who sat up with Justin through his nightmares and was, more or less, the one who typically comforted him when he was upset. But Justin was still so scared of him sometimes. He was an adult male and he was a pretty big guy, even though he could be such a teddy bear and nerdy English professor. Seeing him angry haunted Justin. It was an image that had always led to violence in Justin’s life. 

No adult male had ever been angry without getting violent except for his coaches. He tried to tell himself that Matt would be like his coaches, but the way the veins on his neck popped out and the urgency he burst into the room with made Justin want to cry, to scream, to run as far away as he could. He would run to Bryce’s in the past and the familiar yearn for his safety net made him feel disgustingly sick, violated him. 

“Justin, is this yours?” Matt asked, but Justin could tell from his tone he already knew the answer but needed to hear Justin confirm it. 

“Yes, sir.” His voice humiliatingly cracked and he begged himself not to cry, not to show them how terrified he felt. As they walked in he could feel himself backing up until he hit the end of the bed with his knees. He buckled over, hunching in on himself. 

Lainie and Matt seemed to noticed as they both froze, stopped moving. Lainie still looked furious but Matt appeared to conceal some of his anger. Now it just looked like pity in his face. Justin wasn’t sure which he hated more. 

“Justin, what’s going on?” 

“You promised us you were going to stay clean.” 

“When did this start?” 

“Justin, answer us.” 

Justin could hear everything they were saying but they had gotten closer again, voices firmer with every remark. He knew if he opened his mouth he was going to revert and start crying. Matt was getting closer and his body was on fire screaming out to run. 

“I’m sorry, please. Please d-do-don’t hurt m-me. _Please_.” His words poured out of him before he could even process anything. He felt too afraid to be embarrassed. He was back in his mother’s apartment again. Matt wasn’t Mr. Jensen anymore he was Seth, Andy, Victor, Lenny, he was all of them. Matt was too close, they were too angry. Justin had fucked it all up. This was happening, he had ruined it. He had-,

“Justin, sweetheart, can you hear me?” 

They were going to kick him out. Lainie was a lawyer she could get him sent to jail for possession. Matt was a big guy he was going to kill him. Justin didn’t have any fight left in him, he couldn’t do anything to stop it but beg. 

“Justin, honey, it’s alright.” 

“Nobody is going to hurt you.” 

Justin realized he had had his eyes squeezed closed and his hands were gripping the base of the bed. He was crying, fingers trembling. He looked up at the scene. Lainie has tears in her eyes, hand fighting whether or not to reach out to him or wipe the wetness of her cheeks. Matt ran a hand through his hair before squatting down to meet Justin’s eyes at level. 

“Justin can you please look me in the eyes,” Matt requested, his tone so gentle it sounded like he thought the sound itself could break Justin. Justin’s eyes finally met his. 

“I promise I will never hurt you, okay? Even when I get angry.” Justin nodded but he suddenly released a sob he hadn’t realized he’d been suppressing. He could still feel the house around him, the hands across his face, and the clutching of his next, the way feet collided with his stomach. And then the warmth of Matt’s comforting hands at night and the way Lainie had soothed him through his panic attack. He didn’t understand it, couldn’t comprehend that these people who wanted to be his parents could be so gentle with him. 

“What’s going on?” 

Clay’s head popped into the doorway and Lainie was on him in an instant, moving him out of the room and closing the door. 

“Clay, you can’t be in here right now. We need to be alone with Justin.” 

“C-Clay,” Justin called voice threaded through tears, desperate. Clay wouldn’t hurt him. Lainie and Matt locked eyes for a moment but Lainie finally let Clay pass, he made his way over to Justin. He was curled up on the ground at the foot of the bed, body trembling and eyes wild. Clay put a hand on his shoulder, Justin flinched but didn’t pull away, relaxed slightly into the touch. 

“Somebody tell me what’s going on.” Clay demanded more so to his parents than Justin. 

Matt gave Clay a look he couldn’t quite read, filled with confusion and frustration. Lainie rubbed at his eyes before explaining the situation to Clay. 

“Justin’s using again. Now we need to explain to Justin that we are angry but that he doesn’t need to be scared.” Clay suddenly understood the tension in the room, his father’s awkward stance, and the way Justin had needed Clay to stay. 

When Clay turned to meet Justin’s eyes he found them covered his hands, sobs overtaking his body. 

“Jesus.” He had no idea how to handle this. He wasn’t a parent, he wasn’t qualified for this. But Justin needed somebody who wasn’t a parent. Clay needed his own parents to tell him what to do but his dad still hadn’t moved and his mom was overwhelmed with tears when Justin began to sob. 

“I’m so sorry.” Jesus, Justin Foley was a mess. He had warned him when Clay had initially mentioned the adoption. Clay figured he just meant the tapes and a negligent mother and heroin, he hadn’t fully understood just how fucked up Justin’s life was. He didn’t realize the impact that a childhood of abuse was. He had never been afraid for his life when his parents tried to discipline him. Justin was an absolute mess, curled into a ball, the most drastic emotional breakdown Clay had ever witnessed. He looked ready to give up. It was completely and truly heartbreaking. 

“Justin, nobody is going to hurt you _ever_.” Justin couldn’t meet his eyes but let Clay kept a hand firmly rested on his shoulder. Matt was still squatting in front of Justin, met Clay’s eyes. 

“Justin, kiddo, can you look at me?” Justin cried for a moment before taking in a big breath and looking up at Matt, leaning a little closer to Clay. Clay squeezed his shoulder, reminding him he was here. “I will _never_ do _anything_ to hurt you, okay?” Justin nodded, breathing so unsteady that Clay worried he might not be getting in any oxygen. 

This was so eye opening to Clay. He had never met anyone who had been so afraid, so helpless. He had heard of abuse in books and movies, but he had no idea how far the damage lay, how deep it was in Justin’s mind. The thought of his dad ever hurting anybody was completely comical to Clay. But Justin was so clearly terrified for his life and it absolutely haunted Clay’s bones. This was real fear. 

“Is it alright if I hug you?” Clay and Lainie watched as Justin hesitantly nodded before Clay let go of his shoulder, Matt’s arms engulfed him. They were both still on the ground and it was the most awkward and ungraceful hug Clay had ever seen. Justin melted against Matt, sobbing and clutching his sweater. Lainie pulled Clay’s back against her chest, both of them watching. Matt lifted Justin up and he looked like such a younger child than he was. It was how Matt would carry Clay up the stairs when he fell asleep after long road trip. Justin was seventeen, but so much less stable and trusting than Clay had been when he was little. Matt rocked him so softly as he set Justin down on the bed, bent over in front of him so he could wipe the tears out of Justin’s eyes. 

“I’m sor-sorr-sorry,” Justin whimpered, body still trembling but the sobs losing their power. Matt had both hands cupping Justin’s face and then holding onto his shoulders. 

“You don’t ever need to apologize for being upset or scared in this house. And the three of us are never going to let anybody lay a finger on you again. Do you understand? Never again.” Clay had never heard his father sound so strong, so determined. Justin tried to smile as more tears fell down his cheeks. Clay’s stomach churned, how had nobody ever noticed Justin was being abused. He had known him since fucking Kindergarten and he had never known. 

“You are our son now, do you understand what that means?” Justin shrugged, shaking his head. Lainie‘s hands tightened around Clay. “That means that we love you and no matter how angry we get at you, we will always be here and you will always be safe with us.”

“Even when I f-fuck up?” Matt ran a hand through his hair and finally rested on his back, rubbing the same circles Lainie had on the stairs that day. 

“Even if you fuck up,” Matt assured, nodding. This was new territory for Matt too. Raising Clay had been easy, they had been holding the reigns since day one. Justin was so clearly emotionally stunted, so vulnerable to authority, so broken by everyone he had ever trusted. Matt knew how to parent a healthily developed kid, but Justin? He had no fucking clue how to get this kid to trust him and to feel loved the way Clay had been raised. Someone had seriously fucked this kid up and Matt never wanted to be the one to take care of him more. He was never letting this kid get fucked over again. 

He wrapped Justin back into a hug, kissing the top of his head, running calming fingers around his back. He was so young, in a way Clay never had been. He could feel wetness through his shirt and fingers clutching at the fabric, latching onto him. He never wanted to let this kid go. 

Behind him, Lainie was crying against Clay, Clay’s own eyes watering. Clay felt like he shouldn’t have seen what he was just witnessed, it was a part of Justin so constantly hidden and it was too personal for Clay to know. But they were family now, Justin Foley was his fucking brother now. This shit was his shit now. 

Clay looked over at this dad and the way that he was holding Justin. It was one of the first times Clay could really connect in his brain that his dad was now Justin’s dad too. He was going to do the same things for Justin that he had always done for Clay. And Justin would be vulnerable to them in the way that Clay only ever had with his parents. 

Lainie held onto one of her sons with a similar contemplation. This broken little boy was now hers and Matt’s to take care of. All of this pain he was dealing with was their responsibility to heal. She felt so unqualified, so unsure. It was the same way she felt when they had brought Clay home from the hospital after he had been born. It was the way all parents felt. But this child so desperately needed them, needed to feel loved and safe. She held on to her baby, her soul crying for her other. 

She kissed the back of Clay’s head, letting him go and then making her way over to the end of the bed where she took a seat next to Matt and Justin. Matt pulled away from Justin as Lainie took his place, pulling him against her gently. With arms firmly —but loose enough that Justin would know he could pull away at any moment— she spoke. 

“Justin, honey, we’re so upset and disappointed. But we still love you, we want you to be part of our family. We’re going to face this as a family this time; you don’t have to fight this on your own anymore. But we can talk about all of this later because I think we’re all pretty tired now.” Justin didn’t respond verbally but he had watched her with big eyes, hands clutches around her arms across his chest. Matt was squatted in front of them, hand on Justin’s knee. Clay was near the doorway watching quietly. 

“I love you, Justin,” Matt said again. 

“I love you too, honey,” Lainie chimed in. 

“I guess I love you too,” sounded Clay with a lighter but still serious tone. Justin smiled, silent tears still dribbling down his cheeks. 

“I’ve never really ha-had anybody s-say that to me before.” 

Lainie’s eyes closed for a moment, so distraught by his words. It’s a wonder heroin was all he was on —a lifetime of feeling unsafe and unloved. 

“We mean it, buddy.” Justin finally nodded at Matt’s words. 

“I love you guys.” Lainie kissed the top of his curly head. “Th-thank you.” 

They sat like that for a few minutes, giving Justin some time to settle down. Lainie kept an arm around and Matt kept close by with a hand on Justin’s knee. After what seemed like an eternity, Justin had stopped crying, exhausted against Lainie. 

“Why don’t we all do something together,” Matt suggested. Justin shrugged silently. Lainie squeezed his forearm. 

“That’s a good idea. Maybe a movie or a board game. Clay what do you think?” Lainie asked, trying to keep an upbeat tone to her voice to raise Justin’s spirits. 

“We could watch a movie or we could start the third season of Narcos —it just came out on Netflix.” Clay and Justin had watched the first two seasons together and Justin had loved them. 

“That’s the one with that Mexican drug guy,” Lainie chimed in.

“Colombian. Pablo Escobar,” Matt corrected. 

“Oh, oops. That sounds great. Justin, do you want to do that?” Justin nodded, still quiet. Lainie figured he was exhausted and embarrassed, probably the embarrassment was the greater cause of his silence. “Perfect. I can make us some popcorn. Clay do you want to get the TV ready?” 

“Yeah, I’ve got it.” 

Lainie and Clay, both excited, made their way out of the room while Matt lead Justin out, a steady hand on his back the entire walk down the steps. They followed Clay into the living room, Matt fishing a few blankets out of the ottoman and then settling himself on the end of the sectional. 

“Want to sit down?” He asked Justin gently patting the spot next to him. There was a little hesitation in Justin’s eyes but he decided to sit down beside Matt, his body leaning in against the larger man. Matt put an arm around him and tossed the blanket over his new son. Justin wrapped himself up in the soft material and melted against Matt, his entire body resting against Matt’s chest. Matt slid one of his arms protectively around him. Clay tried to hold back his smile when he saw them and took a seat on the other end of the couch once the TV was ready. 

Lainie came in with a big ceramic bowl full of popcorn and planted herself between her sons, resting her feet against the coffee table, smiling over Justin’s head at her husband. Clay hit play. 

They watched two episodes of the show, Justin was asleep about halfway into the second. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Clay had asked quietly as they turned off the tv and Lainie picked pieces of popcorn off of the cushions. 

“Yeah baby, he’s going to be alright,” Lainie promised patting Clay on his back. Matt carefully stood up, readjusting Justin off of himself as to not wake him. As much as his ageing back begged him not to, he reached down and picked Justin up, one hand under his back and the other scooping him up by his knees. He was so much heavier than Clay had been the last time he’d done this. But still not as heavy as he should’ve been —fucking heroin. 

“Clay, can you get the light?” He asked as Justin’s sleeping form curled against his chest. Clay hit the light off and followed Matt and Lainie up the steps. The weirdness of the new family dynamic was already feeling so comfortable, so normal. Clay had to admit, it was weird to see Justin getting carried up the steps, but after how broken he had just looked an hour ago, it made sense. Justin needed that childish love of protective hugs and goodnight kisses that built the foundation for trust. He was impressed his dad didn’t sound out of breath as they made it to the top of the steps, Matt and Lainie headed for Justin’s room. Clay hung around outside, watching from afar. 

Lainie pulled back the covers and Matt placed Justin into the bed, pulling the blankets around him. Both parents kissed his forehead before heading out to turn off his light and close the door —not all the way so they would hear if he had a night terror. Matt put a hand on Clay’s back when they were out in the hallway together. 

“You did good tonight, son,” Matt praised. 

“Thanks, dad,” Clay said with a soft chuckle. 

“Really, Clay. We’re both proud of you. You handled everything really maturely,” his mom added. “Justin has had a really different life than you, baby. I don’t know how much he wants you to know, but many of his mom’s ex-boyfriends were abusive. Like what happened here Seth, but all the time in his own home. Child abuse is a really serious thing. He needs this more than you can maybe understand.” 

All Clay could do was nod. He was exhausted too, physically but more so emotionally because of the breakdown and all of the realizations he was having about Justin. 

“I’m really glad you brought him here,” Matt said, something Clay had never really expected to hear. He knew that his parents were too giving to turn Justin away, but they were so sincere when they had told Justin that they loved him and Justin could see in his eyes that this was his parents way of apologizing to him for their initial anger and a genuine display of gratitude. 

“He’s family now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Thanksgiving really got me feeling all the disfunctional family feels and I had the intense urge to write an insanely sappy family fic and throw in a massive amount of Justin angst because that’s always the move. This chapter is heavily inspired by the Netflix movie To The Bone where her mom goes back to basics to like begin her rehabilition journey. Idk it’s prolly way too emotional but I feel like sometimes TV and some abuse fix’s can brush over problems with an easy solution and a few ‘i love you’s’ but I wanted to show that the effects of abuse don’t just end, it takes a fucking long time and a ton of work to change the way a person trusts and loves. Emotional ramble over.... also if it wasn’t obvious there was a time jump because I was too uninspired to write the vacation fic.


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